When Home Changes
I first moved to Europe in 2018 and it changed me. I’ve not only moved there once, but twice. The second time, I went solo with my one dog. Sold everything, backed my bags and left. I bought a horse without trying her, found a barn, a town, and a home by intuition alone. 🌍 if you have a dream, you do it for you. You give yourself permission and you go for it.
Life was getting good. I arrived back in Canada from Portugal in September 2023 and since then I’ve been completely unsettled. I thought coming back was the “right” thing to do, that I would figure out my career. Nope. I just wrote a book, but I guess that counts for something. Yet, I’ve never expressed how lost I’ve felt being back.
Until you’ve lived abroad - something that people don’t understand or talk about is how hard it is to come back to a place you no longer call home. Life kinda fell apart for me after I was trying to put it back together. I’m now moving for the third time in under three years within Canada and I won’t shy away from hoping it’s the last transition, before I somehow find my way back to Europe for good. I’m sensitive to my environments and can only make something work for so long.
My soul craves passion, adventure, culture, inner freedom and so much more. For me It’s not just a way of life but a pace in life. I’m still trying to create my own without collapsing in doing what everyone else is doing. Canada helped me find my voice, made me remember. Yet, I fell in love with Europe and trust me it was many adult temper tantrums at first! But there was something that settled my nervous system, and being back here has triggered everything.
I’ve done tons of healing, and soul searching if you call it, and I won’t settle here. I’ve lost and gained many wonderful people along the way. Life has tested me more than I can count, with a few regrets. Yet, no matter how hard life can seem, I’ve somehow accomplished all the things I’ve wanted to as I continue following my heart.
Some people love, love. I love experiencing life, and the last few years I’ve felt like I’ve been drowning. So on I go. That’s my truth, part of it anyway. I hope that whatever you are going through, you pick yourself up, you keep going (maybe read my book), and you fight for love and life in a way that lights up your soul no matter the discomfort along the way. ✨🫶💫
And if it means anything, here’s your permission to get up and go. Start your next chapter. 😘